May 7th, 2007

A Very Bad Weekend

So this weekend did not go well. I think I was really upset by what was said in group. I never have seen myself that way. All at once I felt really ugly and scared like, I have never missed a period, I at least had that to prove that I was doing okay and then I find out it's prob all a joke. I don't think the fact that my boyfriend was anxious all weekemd helped at all either. He's pretty sick of hearing me talk about this stuff because it makes him sad but besides that he was doubting us all weekend. Well what happened was I binged, I binged alot from Thursday on. I felt terrible but I kept eating. However, I didn't purge even though the thought crossed my mind, so I'm at least proud of that. It's monday morning and by now I feel pretty beat down. I was worried about telling you all about my binge because I felt so ashamed but then I realized I should feel just as ashmaed about restricting, so I decided to go for it (I'm proud of this too). Anyway I hope everyone in doing well and handling stress better than I have been...